I cried after sex the other night, I’ve NEVER done that before. That is how bad my emotions are. So yeah, that’s my life right now. I cry over everything and anything. Movies, songs, my hubby doing something nice (like the dishes). The crappy part is I have to go to court for work Tuesday and I tend to cry under pressure or for any reason right now and I have a feeling I may have to channel every part of my inner self to hold it together as best I can. Pray for me!!! Haha.
Well anyways, the whole point of this was to just vent to someone who understands. My sister is preggers, with number 2. As much as I love my niece, she is adorable and so sweet. I can’t help but have a hard time with being happy for my sister for “falling” pregnant when she doesn’t even want to be. Her hubs are in a bad place right now and the last thing she wanted was number 2 but naturally they are making the best of it. I didn’t have to go through this last time because we have been trying for about 2.5 years now and my niece is 6. So of course this wasn’t a problem and I was overly ecstatic for my sister when she was pregnant the first time but this time it’s so different. I’m happy for you but I’m not….So next Sunday, the 22nd, we were invited to a gender reveal party, those are the new thing apparently. I’m terrified to go…..I’m excited for her but I’m not, I’m happy for her but I’m not….with my emotions so crazy and my heart so fragile I don’t know how I’m going to be strong for this one. At the very least I know I will have my husband right there with me to be my rock.
On a happy note, I start OPK tests on Monday! So fingers crossed on a positive soon and then we will make the trip across the state to be inseminated! ❤