Dear best friend….

My heart is over joyed for you and your new found happiness in holding a baby inside you. I’m so happy for you in my heart that I cannot put words on paper to share with you how much I hope and pray that your baby is happy and healthy and your pregnancy goes smoothly and just fast enough for you to enjoy every moment with your precious package.

Unfortunately even with my overwhelming joy for you I also have an overwhelming feeling of jealously… I wish I could explain to you how that feels. I knew this day would come, the day you told me you were trying I knew one day you would tell me that you went from trying to expecting. I tried to prepare for this day so I could show on my face the love I have for you in my heart but I’m afraid tonight my face failed me. My eyes showed my pain and my face gave you a half hearted smile. Just give me time to process dear friend, let my emotions catch up with my heart and allow me to still know and be apart of your life. Bare with me through your joy because I want to be there for you as you’ve always been there for me.

Time heals all wounds but this is a deep wound that hasn’t had enough time to heal. I’m only human and I don’t want you to feel ashamed around me. I want you to tell me everything just as we have always told each other everything in the past. Yes I do want to feel your belly and yes I would love to go baby shopping with you! No I don’t ever want you to feel like you can’t tell me something and I never ever want you to feel or go through what I go through on a regular basis. I pray every day for your happiness…all I ask is for a little time and some forgiveness when my face doesn’t always show what my heart wants to say.

Congratulations best friend! You deserve everything the world can give you ❤

Always here

K ❤

 

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